Insomnia

I dont know if i have it. How does one diagnose oneself with this? Would being wide awake in the middle of the night (morning) have anything to do with it?

I dont think i'm a chronic sufferer of insomnia, but man, it would suck if i was. At this moment, i cannot get to sleep, i've been tossing and turning in my bed for the last 2 hrs, unable to fall asleep. Then again, how do u know if u have fallen asleep? I remember those dreams where u dream you're awake, when actually you're not, but asleep, if that makes sense.... ;P

Or am I currently sleepwalking/typing? Now that would be freaky. They say that sleepwalkers appear to be totally normal as they do things, so i could've slept-walk to my computer, turned it on, logged on, and blogged away....... hmmmm..

Maybe it's got something to do with my new job....... It does involve later hours, much like a night shift, only i dont go ALL night. For instance, 2 nite i got home at 10pm. Like a friend of mine suggested, it takes time to wind down after a day's work, and if mine started later and finished later, then its gonna take longer to wind down..... I guess that sounds about right.

Doesnt make me feel any better though....... Zzz.

Longing

The last 3 weeks have been very awkward. I believe it has to do with the transition period that i am going thru at the moment, the switching of workplaces. It has been dead quiet at work, and i have been literally working half days for the past 2 weeks. The less work i have, means less money, but that's not really bothering me. I think what bothers me the most is the apparant waste of time i am faced with each day. And lots of time on one's hand leaves a lot of time to think.........

I feel guilty, sloth-like and lazy, coming home each day at 11am, after working for only a couple of hours. Coz everyone else i know is working, there's noone to hang with, which leaves me able to bask in the lovely spring sun, by MYSELF. It may sound good to some readers out there, but i dont know..............

Nothing makes this worse for me then to think about travel. Just like chocolate or il gelato are some people's weaknesses, mine is travel. I was flicking thru the lonely planet webpage, to the thorntree forum. It's a forum where fellow travellers post FAQ and comments about all the places they are visiting or visited. Just going thru that forum makes my heart yearn ever so much to be out there again.

As i sit here and read everyone's comments, questions or short stories, emotions run high. I laugh at each mistake the traveller is about to make, and i empathise with those that had the same experiences i had. I become suprised with NEW facts that come from places i've visited, which make me wanna know more.

The world is an amazing place. Who could've fathomed the creation of such a melting pot of people, places, cultures, smells, sounds, colors, buildings, food, languages or experiences that leaves the heart and mind longing for more and more..... I guess it's true; noone truly knows your heart's desires more than God himself.


How I long to set foot on foreign soil once more..........

Occurences thus far

I think God is trying to tell me something.............. I should STOP playing basketball. I totally busted my hand last week, and it's taking a very LONG time to heal. I've broken fingers and strained and jarred fingers, but i've never sprained it in such a way before. My whole thumb and forefinger were so swollen, it hurt just to move them. And the next day, it went REAL black..... that was scary.



I had to cancel the afternoon of work, coz i just couldnt do squat. That sucked. But on the up side, i have a bit of news for the few who still frequent this blog......... I've QUIT!

Yes, after yrs of suffering, i've finally managed to find a new place that will further my career, and more importantly, maintain my sanity. This new place is most definitely a step UP for me, and the type of workplace that reflects my personality and professionalism.


Aside from that, the weekend was pretty full on. We had our church camp over the weekend which was a total suprise packet.... it was fabulous. Then on sunday nite was Church Together. For those not knowing what that is, you may have heard it, literally. Supreme Court gardens, thousands of people, LOUD music. Anyone within the vicinity would've heard it, and if u did, i hope u got a chance to pop in and have a look. It was grand..... I was totally taken by the venue and i hope they have it here again next year.......

Inspirational

I have just finished this book that has left me all the more inspired, yet depressed. I got given the travel photography book "One Planet" the other day as a gift, which is totally my thing, and i love it. It's a beautifully laid out book, boasting 242 'inspirational travel photographs' from various photographers and travellers. It is a collection of phenomenal photos that give me ideas and possibilities for my future photo taking.

I've come to realise just how gorgeous our planet earth is, and how vast it is and us so small and insignificant. I've never been the arty kinda guy, but i can appreciate good pics when i see them, and this book shows it all. I can but "try" to achieve the same effect these photos have. The editors claim that these photos were selected to allow the reader to feel that they are partaking in the actions IN the photo, and as bizzare as that sounds, it's does!.......... As i sit here trying to describe what i have seen in this book, i've come to realise that no words can, and that pictures do indeed say more than a thousand words......

But the problem is, upon completing this book, of the 242 photographic prints there, i can safely say that i have been to just about NONE of the places in the book. (Ok, maybe 10) I believed that i've been fortunate enough to travel a fair bit in the past 3 yrs, but after reading this book, my ego's been shot..... I feel there's SO much to see in the world, and i havent even begun to scrape the surface! Why did God have to make this place so big? ;)

So 2 take-home messages from this book:)
(1) Have to travel more and see more of our great planet.
(2) take better photos.

Easier said than done..............

Settling back home

It's definitely been a long time between drinks, and since i've scraped the bottom of the barrel as far as things to procrastinate on, here i am......

It has been a tough period for me, since coming back from Africa. Not so much that i miss the place, i guess its the first time in a LONG time (this whole year in fact) that i have to accept the fact that i'm back home and am not going anywhere else soon. No travel to look forward to. Nothing. Nada.

If i look back to my past 24 months, i've always had a travel destination to look forward to, so all my efforts at work and elsewhere were directed toward those goals. This is the first time in 24 months that i dont have any such goals to strive for.

Plus, this is the first time in a long while that i've actually been home for an extended period of time. Usually, i'm always off on little trips here and there, whether it be for work or leisure. I guess in a nutshell, i'm back into the normality of life........

Well, 2 mths into it, i guess i can say i'm finally settling in. I'm reminded constantly of my real purpose and direction in life, and that i dont need those "travel incentives" to keep me going. Far from it in fact. I've realised and am glad that my difficulties were only a short phase i had to go thru. Now, I'm serving a lot more at church, getting back into sport (now the back's better) and really enjoying my work rest and play.

The only thing i'm looking forward to now is some warmth (bring on summer!) where i hope to get a scooter in the next few weeks to really take advantage of the great Perth summer. Speaking of Perth, we're still voted in the "top 5 most livable cities", but dunno why melbourne is still ahead of us............ You can check out the report here. Now, i've been to vienna (rated 3rd) and geneva (rated 4th), and being TOTALLY and HONESTLY unbiased, Perth is a WAY better.

Perth is definitely my HOME, and i'm glad to be home. :)

Photos!

I've finally posted some photos......... www.flickr.com/photos/missiontrip05

Click on the albums on the left side of the page. I've tried to order them chronologically as much as i could. As always, there's a story to every picture, so if u wanna know about it, you'll just have to ask.

Hope u enjoy!

African return...

My return to Perth has been a memorable one. For the 1st time, the reality of my arrival home didnt hit me until the plane literally hit the tarmac (And the landing was a rather smooth one in comparison to some of the other landings we experienced whilst away).

Never had i felt so physically exhausted, emotionally drained or intellectually zapped after a trip. Normally i feel, well, normal!! But spiritually, I felt totally recharged.......

This trip to africa is one i will treasure for a long time to come, as it was the kind of trip i really needed to improve my spiritual growth. I wouldnt say my faith was wavering, but it was definitely stagnating.

For those wondering, we went to Madagascar to teach the local pastors and church leaders. We basically had to lead an inductive study into 3 books of the bible; the books of Galatians, Ephesians and 1 Timothy. This is something I was not very comfortable with, as I thought my knowledge to be insufficient to be teaching anyone! But give God a chance, and it'll amaze you what he can do with you. :)

I could write a book on my travels, but it still wouldnt cover what i have to say. So here are a few pointers i have extrapolated instead, any other details and you will just have to ask me personally...........

- poverty sux, especially when u see it affecting children
- half the population of madagascar is aged under 14, so there were a LOT of kids!!
- When challenged outside your comfort zone, giving my fears and apprehensions to God empowered me to complete tasks once thought impossible.
- I've developed a real compassion for the people of madagascar and africa
- Perth is SO clean and nice smelling!
- Lemurs run funny and have soft hands. (yes hands, NOT paws!)
- Madagascar is reknown for their wood carvings, and i scored these carved hidden daggers and a carved musical lute for under $10!!
- On our return from madagascar, we went via mauritius for further teaching, but also for some R&R...... :)
- On one of our days off, we formed a scooter gang and terrorized the island of Mauritius. We invaded the lush tropical beaches, tranquil blue waters, gently swaying palm trees, doing as we pleased (mainly lying on beaches comatose)
- I've taken a liking to sunbaking, where in the past i detested it. Must have something to do with the Mauritian sun! :)
- Scooters rock, especially when all they are used for was for getting from one beach to the next.
- The food in Mauritius was delish!! The chinese food in madagascar was NOT.
- I tried snails for the 1st time ever in madagascar!!
- Africa will always have a place in my heart. Always.

Photos will be up when i get the time to put them up. Watch this SPACE!!!

Madagascar: NOT the movie.

Well, I think this will be my last post for awhile, not that i've been posting much anyway..... The time between my last post and now has been pretty hectic, i dare say its been one of the craziest periods of my life so far.

That's a big call, whenever u r comparing it to all the other events in your LIFE. But i think its right up there. This is mainly coz work has been crazy, so that's the entire day taken up. On top of that, i still have my daily commitments at nights, which really leaves only monday nite free for me. But now, i've started playing basketball on monday nites, so i dont think i've got a spare weeknite anymore......... i think i'm gonna hafta reassess my commitments. I dont think i'm burning out, but i probably could if i'm not careful.

I'm leaving for Africa on friday night, which is the other reason why i havent been blogging much or will be for the next few weeks. Preparation for the trip has been mad as well, especially when things have been quite disorganised. So the last few days leading up to our departure, there's been a mad dash to get things done.

For those that dont know, i'll be heading on my 1st mission trip ever, to africa, namely; Mauritius & Madagascar. We'll be going there to teach the existing church pastors and leadership groups there, which to me is one of the most challenging things i have ever done. I mean its one thing advising a graduate at work, but teaching the bible to pastors!? ME!?

I'll be honest and say that i had my doubts leading up to our departure. I mean, i've never had any teaching/lecturing experience in my life, let alone any theological training. But this week has been good, it's made me realise that God can work thru me, and its amazing the amt of stuff i'm taking in just before my departure. I just wish i had started a LOT earlier......

Feel free to drop me an email whilst i'm away, it'll be nice to hear from ppl!!! (If i can find internet access over there!)

Friday night city shopping

I havent been into the city in quite awhile, and i was reminded very quickly why i detested it in the 1st place.... parking was a real hassle and expensive too! Gone are the days of free parking....

Another sight to behold were the people that constituted the "crowd" in the bustling city of perth.... most who live here would agree that's we're in a rather chilly spell at the moment. So seeing girls in the shortest of short skirts and skimpy singlet tops was quite a sight... i thought was in the middle of summer, apart from the touch of frost on my brow..... ;)

Then a girl with a dog collar..... i know, it's so 2 or 3 or 4 yrs ago, (or whenever!) so its not the collar i was suprised about, it was more the chain attached to it! And the chain was clasped by this man (or was it a manly woman?) And He/She was leading her around Forrest Chase! WTF!?

But the plus side of the city at the moment are the number of sales on! And they're pretty good quality, not those rubbishy sales where the stuff they're trying to get rid off are on sale only. There's actually worthwhile items this time!

Thank goodness for my self-restraint........ :)

Sinking sand...

I must appear to be a very angry person...... especially since my last post was about venting. What i'm about to write may appear to be more venting, but this is REALLY bugging me, so out it comes......

I've been having real issues with responsiblity and people pulling their weight, the last couple of months. It's not the majority mind you, more the minority. The worst thing about it is that i totally do NOT want to sound self-righteous about it, but when it comes down to it, i feel like I've been doing all the bloody work and noone around me bothers to lift a fat finger!!! Sure its easy to think inwardly here, as there is some bias to the thought, but as the workload piles on from everywhere, i feel like i'm being stretched thin over everything, so i can no longer produce my best efforts for the tasks!

And that really sucks, coz i like to put 100% into all i do, knowing that i'd achieve a good result, but coz of this, a good result is getting harder and harder to achieve.

And i'm not just talking about work...... Off the top of me head, i can count; 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.....that's the number of things i've got going on all at one time for the next 3 wks..... And i've gotta fit it in with work. WTF!?

I'm not gonna list the things i got going on or what the specific issues are, but suffice to say, i'm starting to feel myself sinking a little now, and i'm hoping that the ppl around me will start to notice before i'm up to my eyeballs in it, and perhaps pull out a fat finger to not just help me out, but themselves and others too......

Flight schedules suck!

I found out some bad news today...... I'll miss 2 West Coast home games in July!! I misread my travel itinerary, where i thought i was leaving on saturday nite-sunday morning, on the midnight flight. That would've been cool, coz its a night game, which runs from 6pm to 10.40pm, then i'd get straight onto the place for Africa!!

But alas, the flight is actually midnight, friday night-saturday morning...... :(

And coz of the time we're away, i'll miss the following home game as well..... And when this season's been so great, i really didnt want to miss a game this season at all!!

Venting!

Today for some reason, a few people brought up the topic of venting...... ie. the need to vent during those times of frustration. Now i totally agree, coz there are things that happen everyday that can get under your skin, and I reckon if u dont release this, it can eat u up inside.

So I wish to vent.......

Today, I was searching for a park, when i saw this car pulling out. I thought, "Cool, i got a spot", turned my indicators on, and waited for this lady to back out. But as she takes off, this bloody camry comes from nowhere and "zip!" straight into my spot. WTF!? I gave her a honk with my horn, and she has the gall to look around at me, then turned around and proceeded to continue to park her car.

My blood was boiling at this point, so i went elsewhere to find another spot. I'm not really hot tempered, so i didnt mind driving away from this incident, but as i parked into another spot, i so nearly wanted to go back to that camry, and write down for her the ettiquette of parking..... ON her car, WITH MY KEYS...... if u get my drift! :)

Heart racing

Driving home tonight thru Leederville sounds routine and nothing at all special. Except when there's a booze bus camped at the intersection where the freeway entries are, and there's no way out but to go thru their road block!

It's funny how the sight of a booze bus or something simliar gets your heart racing.... the 1st thought that entered my head was "bugger! I hope i dont get flagged!" The 2nd thought was, "just how many beers did i have tonite? Will I be under the limit?"

Then I felt a little silly when my 3rd thought echoed," you havent had a beer all bloody night, stupid."

Daze

Life's a daze at the moment..... I seem to be going thru the motions, and the days pass in a blur. What am I doing here? What am I striving for? What's today's goal?

I feel so spaced out right now, which explains the thoughts occupying my mind, being scribed onto this blog. There seems so much to do, yet there's not enough time to do it nor things to do. I keep working and plodding on but to what avail? Why do we keep working ourselves to exhaustion, and tell ourselves its good? Why does it make us feel satisfied to come home from work tired? Can we not feel refreshed after work? Is it possible to feel like that yet be satified with ourselves?

Then i am reminded of the light at the end of the tunnel. Yes, there is greener grass just on that side, a little to the left..... There is a reason to all this, a purpose to our chase. We just gotta try to discover it, and if we never ask, we'll never get it. So ask Him for it. Bring on Africa! :)

Where are the bargains?

Today sucked.... It's supposed to be my day off, but coz someone called in sick, i was asked if i could come in and cover. It wasnt so much a question, more an expectation that i WOULD come in. But I did anyway, since i'm such a nice guy..... :)

My dilemma came after work, where i was trying to find a quick and easy, cheap bite to eat. I remember the days when i could find a satisfying meal for 5 bucks, the pinkish single note that would satisfy the food vendors. But now, i could barely find anything for under 7 bucks! That would mean having to break my 10 dollar note! Not that i had one, i only had a five in my wallet. (plus 10 cents)

So i had to go all the way to the bank to get cash, but ended up buying a dozen dunkin donuts for 12 bucks for lunch..... :p

My return...

I have been contemplating the cessation of blogging, as i believe that no actually checks my blog anymore. (except maybe 1 person, thanks Leedear! ) So I'll just hafta wait and see how many comments i get to keep going, then maybe i will keep this going. So what brought me back to the blogging table? The same reason i started this blog in the 1st place, nearly a year ago now...... pain and incapacitation.

I am hurting quite badly at the moment, but thankfully its not the same pain i had in the beginning of this blog where i had to have surgery for it. This pain is more self-inflicted, and the incapacitation, temporary. But coz i cant (and dont want to) move, i'll just sit here and blog for a bit..... ;)

The origin of this stems from the long wkend, where i've been in Bunbury participating in this year's State Youth Games. Its basically a massive sports carnival with about 1000 participants, all vying to excel in their nominated sports to win the trophy for their team. I was part of the Subi team, where i played the grand sports of Bocce, basketball, beach volleyball and mixed netball. :)

It was the last one that got the better of me..... I forgot how high impact netball is, and coz we actually did well and got into the finals, there were extra matches to be played. Now my entire body is aching, my quads the worst, which causes me to struggle as i try to stand up even! But it was a fantastic wkend nonetheless, by far the best i've experienced and a splendid job done by our organiser Middo.

I honestly do not know how the heck i'm gonna make it to work 2mrw, i havent felt this sore and sorry for myself since i did my back, but at the same time, i've never felt this alive for a long, long time.

On Holidays....

I started my holidays on thurs, and its been a pretty full on weekend..... I dont think i've been out this much since my early uni days, where an 18 yr old's energy levels are unsurmountable. But i sit here now, after a sunday sesh and bumming around a dead Heat Nightclub, pretty exhausted.

I think back to my early uni days..... how on earth did i ever manage to go out as much as i did? Nowadays, i go out once a wkend, and that's enough! Nicole summed it up nicely tonite,"We're getting old."

One may ask, why the sudden need to go out so much this wkend? Trying to relive one's youth? Trying to feel young again by hanging out in these places? Just wanna have a good time? Too much time and money on your hands? (the last one definitely does NOT apply.)

I'm leaving for Europe 2mrw.... well actually today. I leave this afternoon for london, where i'll commence my European adventure for the next 3 mths. I'll be back in April, but until then, i wont be updating this blog anymore, till i return.
For those who know me and wish to recieve email updates, drop me an email and i'll put u on my list. I pretty much have everyone, but if u think i dont have it, give it to me anyway.

Au revoir everyone, and Bon Voyage to me! :)

There is hope yet...

In light of the Tsunami catastrophe, now more than ever, i feel there is hope yet. How so? Well.......

There's been SO MUCH fund raising stuff for the tsunami victims, u cant get by without seeing an ad on tv, newspaper, billboard, beer cartons, or hearing about it on radio. Yet, i'm amazed at how generous and caring ppl have been. When i saw Eddie Maguire on that telethon thing, i cringed and thought," not another plug by Eddie..." But the general public are unlike me. They looked past that. They are bigger than that. They see the real issue here. That is, helping the victims. And I'll admit, i was humbled by this.

Noone has really dwelled on the past. It's happened. Get over it. Let's focus on what we're left with, help the victims, fix what needs fixing. I've only heard a minority of reports on "WHY". Usually in times like these, i notice ppl like to ask "WHY" or "Who's to blame". I'm glad that hasnt been the bulk of the news.

I wonder if god allowed such a travesty to occur as a spur for mankind to unite & show care for one another for once, no matter who they are or where they're from. I mean, we had a impromptu concert/telethon thingy on sat nite that raised 15 million dollars in a few hrs. The cricket match (World XI vs Asia) raised over 10 million during the match. Coporate businesses from everywhere are throwing in millions and hundreds of thousands in. I'm thinking,"how come everyone's got so much money all of a sudden?"

In a world that strives towards and seeks profits rather than gains, it so warms my heart to see some humility return to the world. Where the starving children in africa, war in iraq, abusive govts of millitaristic regimes failed to raise an eyebrow yesterday, today this one catasrophe has managed to bring together the WHOLE world and show love for humanity. Love for one another. Love for our fellow human being.

Exquisite beauty

I came across a odd sight tonight....

One of the most beautiful women i have seen for a long time graced me with her presence tonight. She strode by me, just as i was shovelling the mixture of curry lamb and rice into my oral orifice. Initially, she did not captivate me, rather i was more intent on completing the shovelling procedure so i could satisfy the wonton desires of my gut.

As the mixture seared the inner lining of my throat as i swallowed, only then did i notice her across the room, being seated at her table. Then, "Whack!". I was slapped hard across my face. I nearly fell over from the force of the strike, but my jaw was not so lucky. It dropped and hit the table hard. As I tried pick my jaw off the table, i found it difficult to avoid the blows of beauty that radiated from her presence.

She exuded class, elegance and beauty as she sat there and placed her order that would satisfy her appetite. As the waitress left, only then did i notice what was amiss from this perfect scenario...... She was dining alone. Table set for one. Uno momento..... WTF!? What is such an exquisite specimen of the female gender doing ALONE? That's not right.

People ask, "what did u do about it then?". I did what any gentleman would've done of course. :)

Tear Jerker

3 posts in one day is a record for me, but i just HAVE TO share this post, dated the 4th Jan 2005, with everyone.

It's a really amazing story that really tugs at the heart strings, but for me, it really struck deeply in me for some reason. 2 points she writes really STICK out to me...... (1) the grace of God, and (2) "reducing stress and enjoying the everydayness of life"

2 things that i too believe strongly in.