Insomnia

I dont know if i have it. How does one diagnose oneself with this? Would being wide awake in the middle of the night (morning) have anything to do with it?

I dont think i'm a chronic sufferer of insomnia, but man, it would suck if i was. At this moment, i cannot get to sleep, i've been tossing and turning in my bed for the last 2 hrs, unable to fall asleep. Then again, how do u know if u have fallen asleep? I remember those dreams where u dream you're awake, when actually you're not, but asleep, if that makes sense.... ;P

Or am I currently sleepwalking/typing? Now that would be freaky. They say that sleepwalkers appear to be totally normal as they do things, so i could've slept-walk to my computer, turned it on, logged on, and blogged away....... hmmmm..

Maybe it's got something to do with my new job....... It does involve later hours, much like a night shift, only i dont go ALL night. For instance, 2 nite i got home at 10pm. Like a friend of mine suggested, it takes time to wind down after a day's work, and if mine started later and finished later, then its gonna take longer to wind down..... I guess that sounds about right.

Doesnt make me feel any better though....... Zzz.

Longing

The last 3 weeks have been very awkward. I believe it has to do with the transition period that i am going thru at the moment, the switching of workplaces. It has been dead quiet at work, and i have been literally working half days for the past 2 weeks. The less work i have, means less money, but that's not really bothering me. I think what bothers me the most is the apparant waste of time i am faced with each day. And lots of time on one's hand leaves a lot of time to think.........

I feel guilty, sloth-like and lazy, coming home each day at 11am, after working for only a couple of hours. Coz everyone else i know is working, there's noone to hang with, which leaves me able to bask in the lovely spring sun, by MYSELF. It may sound good to some readers out there, but i dont know..............

Nothing makes this worse for me then to think about travel. Just like chocolate or il gelato are some people's weaknesses, mine is travel. I was flicking thru the lonely planet webpage, to the thorntree forum. It's a forum where fellow travellers post FAQ and comments about all the places they are visiting or visited. Just going thru that forum makes my heart yearn ever so much to be out there again.

As i sit here and read everyone's comments, questions or short stories, emotions run high. I laugh at each mistake the traveller is about to make, and i empathise with those that had the same experiences i had. I become suprised with NEW facts that come from places i've visited, which make me wanna know more.

The world is an amazing place. Who could've fathomed the creation of such a melting pot of people, places, cultures, smells, sounds, colors, buildings, food, languages or experiences that leaves the heart and mind longing for more and more..... I guess it's true; noone truly knows your heart's desires more than God himself.


How I long to set foot on foreign soil once more..........